3.2.3. Barriers to Obtaining Support
Just over half (n=160) of respondents stated barriers reduced their access to support. The most frequent barriers included embarrassment or shame (68%), not recognising the abuse (67%), fear of what might happen (66%), or of not being believed (63%) as outlined in
Table 1.
Findings were largely similar for specific communities, however, people who identified as BME scored higher than average on fear of what might happen, denial and hoping things would change. Free-text survey answers also highlighted emotional barriers of self-blame and shame:
“I thought it was my fault” (Nancy, Mixed British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“I might be making a big deal and bringing shame” (Faiza, British Asian, heterosexual, non-disabled)
These were often related to lack of recognition or denial:
“I did not recognise it as abuse for a long time. When I did it hit me like a train and the flood of shame, fear and embarrassment were very intense” (Basma, British-Asian, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“I did not recognise myself as a victim as I was not cowering in corners or being hit (well not regularly)” (Amelia, White British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
For disabled people and the LGBTQIA+ community, the highest score was fear of not being believed:
“My abuser was considered everybody's friend and a great dad. I was presented as the 'difficult' one” (Ella, White British, bisexual, disabled)
“Scared I wouldn’t be believed as the police dropped my case very quickly” (Miriam, White British, bisexual, disabled)
Views of others, or constraints faced by professionals made experiences worse. If abusers portray themselves as charming, it may appear the victim/survivor is to blame, reflecting the ‘gaslighting’ experienced by some:
“the abuser makes you think you have mental probs” (Dawn, White British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“for many years my ex was able to use my diagnoses against me with [the] authorities… everything was justifiable on the grounds of concern for my mental health or parenting” (Freya, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
This layering of experiences, from lack of recognition or self-belief (compounded by gaslighting), fear of reprisals or not being believed, has a significant impact on victim/survivor’s ability to seek help. Other barriers included worry about children or finances:
“the fear of losing the children was a big problem and stopped me from telling social services the truth” (Sophia, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
“I couldn’t afford to leave my ex…. Where would I go? The children were being manipulated … and I wasn’t prepared to leave them where this misinformation could continue” (Elsie, White British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
Others discussed isolation, with practical considerations exacerbated by cultural expectations/difficulties:
“I hesitated to admit or seek support as I’m an Asian so I had a lot to lose in society and community” (Amala, British Bangladeshi, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“As an immigrant I could not report early because I could not speak well,” (Beatriz, Chilean, heterosexual, non-disabled)
The focus group identified similar barriers:
“just trying to find an interpreter can take a very long time” (Louise)
For disabled respondents, accessibility and being cared for by their abusers were also significant barriers:
“it was hard to get there, being a wheelchair user” (Evie, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
“with physical disabilities… I relied on him for support, physically, mentally and financially” (Rosie, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
Therefore individual barriers can be compounded by organisational barriers. Many highlighted not knowing what DA includes, nor what support was available:
“I didn't know where to go or who to talk to” (Olivia, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
Some sourced support through media or agencies, but many desired increased awareness and promotions in educational and healthcare settings, online, via media, posters and in different languages. Another repeated message from both the interviews and surveys was respondents feeling they were directed from one service to another:
“I don't want to see 10 different people” (Rhea)
“I got passed around, had to retell different people my story over again in a bid to get help, and it's embarrassing ... I have seriously struggled to get the help I need” (Violet, White British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
This further example of secondary victimisation caused confusion:
“I feel like I am walking in a maze” (Valerie, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
“I sometimes wonder if it would have been easier to stay” (Claudia, White British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
A coordinated approach with a central hub was advocated:
“Too many satellite agencies and resources… how is a victim meant to know… which is the best one to turn to? Needs a nationally recognised and well publicised umbrella ‘face’ so that any person… knows exactly where to turn… an online triage process… who can help and a handholding online ‘advocate’” (Phoebe, White English, heterosexual, non-disabled)
Also related to access, numerous respondents highlighted long wait times (between 2-3 years), stating they needed services sooner as delays had severe consequences:
“I had a lot of low days while waiting, including thinking of taking the abuser back” (Nihal, Sri Lankan, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“I wanted to end my life…the service isn’t helping people” (Violet, White British, straight, disabled)
Many respondents also wanted sessions more frequently and to utilise them for longer:
“At least once a week” (Isabel, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
“12 or 14 or 16 [sessions] most definitely are not… enough” (Enid, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
A lack of follow-up support was also evidenced, with some describing a ‘drop off’ at the end of support, and its emotional impact:
“after a few months, it suddenly disappears and you are left alone in the ruins of your life” (Evelyn, White British, bisexual, disabled)
“I was not given any instructions on what to do next” (Helvi, African, lesbian, non-disabled)
One respondent suggested introducing a
“care plan after… to prevent them returning to their abuser” (Charlotte, White British, bisexual, disabled).
Other comments related to availability of services in their locality at relevant times, as services are not always available outside ‘working hours’. Participants recognised this was down to a lack of resources:
“Too long waiting list because it's severely underfunded” (Rosemary, White British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
Worryingly, self-sacrifice was evident as participants discussed not wanting to be a burden on services. They were conscious there is not enough supply to meet demand which can put individuals at risk if they do not access help when required.
Barriers highlighted in the focus group also included high demand for services – necessitating prioritisation of only those at highest risk; frustrated further by a lack of housing stock – particularly for transgender and/or disabled people; and a lack of ‘by and for’ services (provision provided by those with lived experiences, either in relation to DA, or in terms of identity characteristics). One participant made analogy to the national picture of public services funding as:
“ a leaky roof’.. we are putting a bucket underneath the hole… catching as many as we can… trying to stop the place from flooding” (Louise)
In summary there are significant barriers hindering victim/survivors getting support which appear more acute for certain groups. Whilst personal and emotional barriers may be more difficult to address; organisational barriers, such as making services accessible at the point of need and offering support for as long as required, necessitates adequate resource and further consideration of support needs of clients.
3.2.4. Support Needs – General
When asked what support respondents wanted, the most frequently reported services requested were access to mental health support and one to one counselling, followed by advice regarding how to remain safe, and advocacy. In free-text answers, respondents expressed a strong desire for greater service provision including more outdoor activities, peer support groups, and online resources. They stated the benefits of connecting remotely:
“I did mine online video call I was in the comfort of my home” (Florence, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
“I liked that I could communicate over the phone via calls and texts as I didn’t always feel like talking or showing my face” (Miriam, White British, bisexual, disabled)
On interviewee highlighted:
“sites where you had like chats where you can actually talk to people on the chat that helps massively” (Maya)
The need for support tailored to individual needs was seen as important:
“they offered to find ways for me to be more comfortable and safe… drawing or listening to background music while we talked” (Isabel, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
Other pragmatic suggestions for professionals included:
“Don’t use long words, or words shortened like DA … people in a distressed state struggle to process things anyway without jargon”(Iris, White British, straight, non-disabled)
“An appointed advocate for each victim… would be hugely, hugely beneficial… we are already overwhelmed by just trying to survive” (Phoebe, White English, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“There needs to be an organised step by step system of provision… mapped out and available for the person to move through at their own pace” (Sophia, White British, heterosexual, disabled)
There were also other important factors for accessing support reflected in both the survey and interviews such as the need for confidentiality, to feel supported and be heard:
“The support workers… were the only ones who listened to me, believed me” (Maria, Black British, heterosexual, non-disabled)
“I was being heard” (Maya)
Both interviewees highlighted this was a novel situation for them and they wanted to feel that professionals fufilled basic needs:
“Why wasn't there a [police] officer that had more understanding… had no idea and very, like… what's happened tell us? There was no empathy… nothing to say… you're protected… he cannot come back… you're not alone… we're here to help” (Rhea)
“I didn’t even have a phone to use” (Rhea)
This was particularly pertinent in relation to accommodation - one survey participant was offered a refuge place, but had to leave her male teenage child behind to access it. This was also reflected in the interviews:
“My solicitor says to me, the best thing to do is look for a flat… how am I going to afford this? … they found this really horrible place… My kids will never come… no TV… so cold… my dad bought food… some duvets and blow up mattresses” (Rhea)
In summary, there are patterns in general needs of victim/survivors, but also individual differences and preferences for types help and forms of support. Such individualised needs can be even more acute when bespoke needs of specific communities are considered.